


One Haig At A Time

by colaismywater



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 07:58:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16301156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colaismywater/pseuds/colaismywater
Summary: Another Tumblr prompt!The lovely agent-myj said:Phil and Melinda each go on a separate blind date at the same restaurant. They met when both of their dates ended in disaster and their chemistry was undeniable.Beta'd by Luna (AllTheNamesIWantedWereUsed)! Thank you so much!





	One Haig At A Time

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry that it took me so long to write this. >_<
> 
> I hope that it's what you expected it to be, I mean I hope you feel your prompt filled in well.
> 
> Thanks to my beta, Luna <3
> 
> ~~~IMPORTANT~~~  
> The cameo quiz is over!   
> I contacted the winners, and these are the answers:
> 
> Melinda‘s blind date = Grant Ward  
> Phil‘s blind date = General Hale  
> The bartender = Bucky Barnes  
> Blond Adonis = Steve Rogers
> 
> Thank you all for participating!

Melinda sat at the bar of the restaurant, in which the worst date ever had just ended. She was totally done with everything. Dates. Men. Humanity.

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?" A friendly voice made Melinda look up to its owner.

Kind, blue eyes looked at her expectantly. But Melinda wasn't in the mood for company, or even worse: a flirt. She looked around to check if there were any other free seats, but was disappointed. The seat next to her was the only one that wasn't taken. Sighing, she nodded, but not without sending the stranger one of her infamous death glares.

The man smiled and sat down. Immediately after he took the seat, his whole physique slumped down. Melinda didn't watch him, but he seemed to have had a rough day as well.

After some time in a crouched position, he looked up again and seemingly checked the bar shelves for something to drink. He looked ridiculous, because he squeezed his eyes together so much, that they almost disappeared. Sadly, the bartender was preoccupied, flirting with a rather handsome man on the other side of the bar.

"Do you need any help?" Melinda asked and watched the man almost jumped out of his seat at her sudden approach. He turned and looked at her with a little shock in his eyes.

"Oh, uhm. Yeah. That would be nice. My friend suggested that I wear contacts for my date, but I had to take them out, because a shrimp landed in my tomato soup and spilled all over my face," the stranger said and checked for the bartender again.

Melinda, meanwhile, made a face and hoped he didn't know who threw the shrimp.

As the man turned around again, she coughed and said, "Is there something particular that you want to drink?"

"Yeah, I need a whiskey, but...", he continued whispering, “Judging by the food they sell, I'm not sure if they have a good one."

Melinda snorted at that. It was true, the food was rather crappy. Especially the shrimp cocktail, but luckily, she found a better use for that one.

"Well, they have-"

"Hello, what can I get you?" The bartender said, after he was finally able to separate himself from that blond Adonis on the other end of the bar.

"Oh, hi! Haig, if you-" The stranger said, but was interrupted by the bartender again.

"Sure, a new one for you, too?" The shaggy haired bartender turned to Melinda. It seemed like he had the urgent need to get back to Blond Adonis again.

Melinda nodded, and the bartender poured her and the stranger the drinks. After he was done, he made a beeline for the other end of the bar again.

They watched him leave, and afterwards the stranger turned to Melinda and studied her face.

"Haig?"

"You aren't the only one who needed a good whiskey," she answered and took a sip of her drink.

The stranger snickered, and raised his tumbler to clink glasses. Melinda only raised an eyebrow, but followed suit.

"Bad date?"

She nodded, "You have no idea."

The light-haired man laughed full-heartedly at that. "You would be surprised. I mean, a shrimp flew into my soup and that was definitely the highlight of my date today. I'm Phil, by the way."

"Melinda", she choked out and bit her lip in embarrassment.

"So...can you surpass a flying shrimp?" Phil wiggled his eyebrows at her, which made her smile.

Melinda took another sip, and smirked at him. "Who do you think threw the shrimp?"

Phil widened his eyes at her, definitely impressed. "Care to elaborate?"

"My date said and this is a quote: 'for someone who crossed her peak decades ago, you are still pretty fly.'"

Phil could only stare at her for a moment, but soon found his speech again.

"Oh, wow. That tops my Nazi-bride!"

That made Melinda choke on her Haig. "Excuse me? Did you just say Nazi-bride?"

He shrugged and gave her a small, but exhausted smile. "Yeah, she was... hardcore. It wasn't just the whole blond hair, blue eyes shit, no...she was a conspiracist. Telling me that only the chosen will get on the space ship, when...the evil aliens come and destroy earth."

"...What?" Now it was Melinda's turn to stare at him. Phil just pressed his lips together and nodded. He was obviously suppressing a smile. "Bullshit. You're mocking me, you're laughing."

And that made him burst. It was a total laughing fit , and it made him strangely attractive. Not that he wasn't good looking, but laughing made him gorgeous. His eyes crinkled and his smile reached from one ear to the other. He was cute.

After the laughing fit faded away, he searched her eyes and said honestly, "I swear. I don't make fun of you. She said exactly what I told you. But saying it myself... I guess I just figured out how ridiculous it sounded. And that I didn't have to suppress my laughter anymore. Sorry. Tell me about the flying shrimp." He was adorable. He even had to wipe away a tear from his eye.

"I basically told you everything. He called me old and I threw my shrimp cocktail in his face. Nothing special about that."

"Well, your shrimp landed in my soup... I would say a flying shrimp is quite special." Phil smiled mischievously and his nose wrinkled like a bunny's as he did.

Melinda shook her head, but couldn't stop herself from smiling. Phil noticed that and his grin became softer, sweeter.

"Can I ask you something, Melinda?"

Melinda nodded and enjoyed how her name sounded as he said it. It was so gentle. So warm.

"Why did you go on a date with a guy like that? I mean... " Shrugging, he gave her time to let his words sink in.

"Oh. It was a blind date. My daughter thought I should meet some new people." She smiled as she thought about her adult daughter still worrying about her mother's love life.

"My friends said exactly the same! Not even mentioning my TA. They said I'm getting annoying since I'm single. Which is ridiculous, because I’m always annoying and it doesn't bother them usually."

"Maybe you should get new friends, when they try to set you up with a Nazi. I mean, I can't exchange my daughter, but friends..." Melinda shrugged and Phil laughed.

"Nah, can't do that. They are also my co-workers. And our parking lots are next to each other."

"I see, when you already have adjoined parking lots..."

"Yeah, they are basically family." He winked.

"Wait, TA? "

"Teaching assistant. I'm a college professor."

"I know, my daughter is a TA at her university. What do you teach?"

"History! I know people think it's boring, but I love it. Captain America, Peggy Carter, the SSR. I could talk about this for hours." Melinda could see the enthusiasm in his eyes.

_Wait.. What?! Captain America enthusiast, history professor? No. That couldn't be._

"Just for the record, your TA isn't called accidentally called Daisy? Isn't she?"

"Yeah, she is. Why? Do you know her?" Melinda gave him a pointed look and Phil studied her intensely. "Waaaait. I know that look...Oh my god! Are you Daisy's mum?"

"Are you AC?"

"Yeah! No idea why she calls me that, though. What a coincidence!"

Melinda wasn't so sure about that. Daisy forcing her on a blind date, on the exact same evening in the same restaurant as her boss? Of whom she said that Melinda would love? Melinda would bet all money in the world that this was everything but coincidentally.

"Yeah, a coincidence..."

That visibly made Phil curious, " you don't think so?"

"Well, two blind dates on the same evening at the same restaurant, and she mentioned more than once, how cool you are... Sounds suspicious to me."

"But she didn't have anything to do with my blind date! That was totally my friends' doing."

"Your friends, who are also your co-workers...have never met Daisy?"

"No, they did! My office is the biggest and they always hang out there and Daisy is in the adjoined roo- oh! They set this up!" Melinda could only raise her glass at his recognition.

Phil stared at her, "But why? Why these awful blind dates?"

"I may have refused to go on a blind date with her boss." Melinda regretted this decision now.

"Same here! I thought dating your TA's mum would get things kinda weird. I regret this now. You are really cool. You could almost say... Fly."

Both of them had to laugh at this. Damn you, Daisy. As they both calmed down, Phil spoke up again.

"Uhm, and what do we so now? I mean they set up a trap, and we jumped right in. What if she asks how our dates went?"

"We tell her the truth. We had horrible blind dates and took a drink at the bar. No need to tell her that we actually talked to each other. She doesn't have to know."

"Unless she followed us to the restaurant,” Phil joked but sat up straighter a second later, only to let his eyes wander around the restaurant to check for his nosy TA. Melinda did the same. Luckily, they didn't see her.

"It might seem a bit forward and really clichéd, but uhm... Would you like to...do this again? Except the terrible blind dates, of course. I mean, we could maybe do our own version of a terrible date?" Phil rambled and smiled shyly at her.

"I would like that. But no word to Daisy."

"Of course not."

They clinked their tumblers at that.

 

~~~

 

**Several weeks later:**

"Oh, c'mon, AC! I swear, you will love her. She is funny, smart, sexy... Just one date!" Daisy had followed Phil the whole day at college and never shut up about the mysterious woman, she wanted to set him up with.

As they reached his office several eyerolls later, she tried again, "AC..."

"Daisy. What makes you think that I'm still single?" Phil said, as he unlocked the door to his office and entered.

"Wait, what? You can't be serious! Nononononononono..." She was now furiously typing on her phone. Phil watched her, but wasn't entirely sure what this was about,until they heard a knock on the door. Both turned and saw Melinda coming in.

"Uhm... AC, this is my mum, Melinda May. Mum, this is AC, uhm, Professor Phil Coulson." Both Melinda and Phil watched Daisy curiously.

"Nice to meet you, Professor."

"Oh, please. Call me Phil," he said and gave her a bright smile.

"I'm Melinda, then. I came for our-"

"Lunch!" Daisy almost yelled. "She came to pick me up for lunch, c'mon, mum! Let's go!" The young woman practically dragged her mother out of the room. Phil only waved them goodbye.

 

~~~

 

[Message from Melinda:] My daughter just told me that she can't set me up with you, because you have a girlfriend. Should I be worried?

[Message from Phil:] No, girlfriend. I don't think there is any need for you to worry. :)

[Message from Melinda:] Good.

[Message from Phil:] Good indeed. ;) Call you later?

[Message from Melinda:] Looking forward to it.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy my story!


End file.
